then kevin and i had couples therapy, with n, at 4 pm...
[then i had a breakdown at pavilion's, and ran sobbing all the way back to rehab, where i finally found calm...damn, there's irony for you...]
then kevin spent half an hour with the group family therapist, r....
then all of the clients joined the 4 visiting family members for a one hour family session, with r....
[and then i cried myself to sleep]
today we had a morning group, post-processing the family therapy group...
then i had a private psychiatrist session with dr. c....
["...crawling up into his lap, arms clinging neck tight in a desperate embrace, while he sooths me with his own unique version of brahms' lullaby; my fantasy ends with the words, "you are now cured", as he gently rocks me to sleep..."]
followed by a phenomenal psychodrama session with "dr o.", in her probational visit...
capped by a candlelit aa meeting focused on sex and relationships...
...now for some reason, i am desperately jonesing for one enormous jacuzzi tub, overflowing with frothy, lavender bubbles, and a deliciously, soft cotton robe to envelop my exhausted frame, as i curl fetal on the bathroom floor...
and sobreity is even harder....
[and now i will cry myself to sleep]
going through this life sober is not really going to be easy... but the soaking tub sounds nice.... ")
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