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Los Angeles, California
I am 47 and thriving in Southern California. One day at a time.
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Wednesday, December 7, 2011

private practice

yesterday, i had private therapy, with n, at 3 pm...
then kevin and i had couples therapy, with n, at 4 pm...

[then i had a breakdown at pavilion's, and ran sobbing all the way back to rehab, where i finally found calm...damn, there's irony for you...]

then kevin spent half an hour with the group family therapist, r....
then all of the clients joined the 4 visiting family members for a one hour family session, with r....

[and then i cried myself to sleep]

today we had a morning group, post-processing the family therapy group...
then i had a private psychiatrist session with dr. c....

["...crawling up into his lap, arms clinging neck tight in a desperate embrace, while he sooths me with his own unique version of brahms' lullaby; my fantasy ends with the words, "you are now cured", as he gently rocks me to sleep..."]

followed by a phenomenal psychodrama session with "dr o.", in her probational visit...
capped by a candlelit aa meeting focused on sex and relationships...

...now for some reason, i am desperately jonesing for one enormous jacuzzi tub, overflowing with frothy, lavender bubbles, and a deliciously, soft cotton robe to envelop my exhausted frame, as i curl fetal on the bathroom floor...

rehab is the f*@king hardest thing i have ever done...

and sobreity is even harder....

[and now i will cry myself to sleep]



2 comments:

  1. going through this life sober is not really going to be easy... but the soaking tub sounds nice.... ")

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  2. Hey, just wanted to say that this was a very well written post and I enjoyed reading it. It's great to see someone sharing interesting information on the internet.

    ReplyDelete