panic button

i'm too tired to understand why i deflate into tears 5 times a day...

and i'm too tired to be miserable about having to hack off the red mop today...

i'm too tired to try on any more of my clothes, as absolutely none of them can be hiked, snapped or zipped...

so i'm too tired to circle down the drain of self-pity, re: my 20 lb. cyclosporine weight gain...

i'm too tired to contemplate the gorgeous serenity i feel from my aa friend, t...

because i'm too tired to acknowledge the nauseating anxiety that squats low in my chest...and spreads...

and i'm just too flattened to recall a single name from the onslaught of welcoming women i met...

because i am just too tired to deal with being an addict any longer today.

[thank god it's already tomorrow...]