steeping still

sometimes there's not much to say.

sometimes you just need to sit very still.

and steep. like a bag of earl grey, bobbing in the steaming clear. gradually seeping rusty plumes. hues ever deepening, ever changing until it's fully brewed. fully satiated with vibrancy and life.

a head spinning with information.

a chest ceaselessly clenched. drawn and quartered, flattened by my guilt and and remorse.

a gut that lives in my toes; weighed down by a past i must release.

but, my heart.

my heart is full tonight.

i went to target today. i had visitors whom i love. we ate birthday cake. i had a phone call from a friend i love. i went to a great aa meeting. my girlfriend, e, offered me one of the greatest gifts imaginable. and she made me laugh doing it.

and i am about to call my husband.

i didn't see the sunset tonight. but apparently, it was a great one...