Moon River

This morning I went to Cedars and had an appointment with Dr. Dauer. I love him, adore him, respect him and I am completely indebted to him. My trust in him is implicit. Utterly. I can only pray that the ones I love will find a relationship like this if they ever find themselves mired by the complexities of chronic illness.

First do no harm. Harm? This man has soared above and beyond the medical oath. How lucky am I?

So here's the scoop, to keep you in the loop...

My hemoglobin was 9.7. Low normal is 12, so I needed an epogen shot to boost red blood cell production. Anemic, low iron; the cause of my exhaustion. My poor kidney just can't produce enough anymore.

My blood pressure was high 140/100. Terrible result. A sure sign I am losing ground with kidney function. As I have previously mentioned, this is the biggest destroyer of organs, and in particular a transplanted kidney. If I can't get this lowered with more exercise, I will surely need more blood pressure medication. SIGH.

I take 9 different medications twice a day now. 28 in total now that the antibiotics are finished.

Take that, you winers.

I finally saw Aunt Flow. The last time she visited my compromised shell of a body was Dec. 17th. Her absence a side effect of all these meds...It lasted about a minute, but hey, I'll take the brief feeling of normalcy.

I gained 8 lbs. from my last visit 3 weeks ago. I was terribly underweight then, but now I'm swollen. Heavy. Dragging. Dr. Dauer didn't think it was edema, but I can't get my wedding ring off, which usually hangs loosely on my finger-so something's up.

And my face. UGH. Moon face, indeed. Trying not to sink into vanity, I still loathe having my appearance altered. Especially through no fault of my own. Every glance in the mirror reminds me. And so, I just try not to look.

Expositional stuff to be sure. But this was the original intent of my blog; to keep those that want to know in the loop.

So there you have it. My noose that still swings across the room, and much too clearly in sight...