19

do you remember being 19? i do...

all the "firsts" we can never, ever authentically recreate.

the exhilaration of first love. it's residue and heartache. i still feel it tingling on my tongue. like a foreign spice. strange, exhilarating and amazing...

no, k. was not my first love. but he is, unequivocally, the great love of my life.

and 19 years ago today, i met him for the first time.

was it inauspicious? no. just benign. i remember he entered the house on chatam ave., in east toronto, and plowed through with his uber-stressed parents, after a long drive east from winterpeg to TORONTO...i was sitting on my bff's lap, thom, in overalls and a white "t", observing this hot, young theatre stud from a foreign, prairie city called winnipeg and thinking "yeah, he's cute, but,"...and, apparently, k. doesn't remember me being there at all...

sigh.

ah, and as our spectacular roommate and friend, j, of many, many years, articulated at our wedding..."i mean, he was 18! you couldn't even legally get him drunk!"

[bringing down the house...]

but, there was something there. and we became friends.

and slowly, but surely, friendship became infatuation, and then love...

what is a soul mate? does one truly exist for each of us, or is it a choice we make?

regardless, i made my choice, many, many moons ago. but, it was effortless.

this was just the person i wanted to be with. with no conditions of career, money, family...nada. i just wanted to be with him. and i still do.

has it been an easy road? no way, jose. trials and tribulations have nearly consumed us whole...

but, we still laugh. we still love. and when i look into his eyes, my heart still skips a beat every. single. time.

is this love?

i think it just might be.

may we all be 19, forever...