so my entry about june 9th left me melancholy.
yes, there might be hope; but reading my pamphlet left me cold.
i have had frequent panic attacks this week.
the monumental forms have left me stone cold; scared beyond belief.
i appreciate all the warm love and support; but there is so much more on this journey...
an e-mail or entry on face book is warming and helpful.
but, a wall post is a minute at best; and i still have 23 hours and 59 minutes to suffer through.
so, judge me if you dare. i really don't care. chronic illness is a long and winding road. i can't work; have limits that leave me saddened and painful side effects.
so hope? good spirits? and expectation for the future? give me a break.
ah, when i was 19, i was sick and depressed. and nothing much has changed.
perhaps, this entry is gloomy; but i mourn all i have lost.
so, please understand my voyage.
i am scared, fearful and anxious.
wednesday the 9th will be stressful.
so, hold my hand during this day. i need it. i crave it and desire your love.
please help me through this time.