About Me

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Los Angeles, California
I am 47 and thriving in Southern California. One day at a time.
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Thursday, June 9, 2011

anniversaire a la 2 months...

in this household, 'tis verboten to call a certain "someone" a savior...in "someone's" mind, it's just "no big deal". but in my heart, there lies an inexpressible gratitude; a love that overflows and fairly drowns the steps i daily tred...so cool beans...this morning i will let others spill their words...and i'll slosh through their puddles of lyricism, and he can take it up with them...

60 days...onwards and upwards...
"the tide is high, but i'm holding on..."[blondie]
"and life has a funny way of helping you out; when you think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in your face..."[alanis morrisette]
"smile like you mean it..."[the killers]
"you cut me down a tree, and brought it back it me (and that's what made me see, where i was going wrong)..."[coldplay]
"today has been a special day, an anniversary, a request; that you play your piano as the evening sun slowly sets..."[eva cassidy]
"embrace me, my sweet embraceable you..."[gershwin]
"your songs remind me of swimming; which i forgot when i started to sink..."[florence and the machine]
"penny lane is in my ears and in my eyes; there beneath the blue suburban skies..."[the beatles]
"there we lie beneath a shady tree, i love him(her) and (s)he's loving me..."[the beatles]
"jigsaw falling into place; there is nothing to explain...(wish away the nightmare)..."[radiohead]
"summertime, and the living is easy...(one of these mornings you're goin' to rise up singing; then you'll spread your wings and take the sky)..."[gershwin]
"there's a party going' on right here, a celebration to last throughout the years..."[kool 'n the gang]
"i wanna roll with him, a hard pair we will be..."[lady gaga]
"even through the darkest phase, be it thick or thin, always someone marches brave, here beneath my skin..."[k.d. lang]
"california girls, we're unforgettable, daisy dukes, bikinis on top..."[katy perry]
"standing in the light of your halo, i got my angel now..."[beyonce]
"darling, je vous aime beaucoup, je ne sais pas, what to do; you know you've completely stolen my heart..."[nat king cole]
"hold me closer, tiny dancer..."[elton john]
"ah, the night...here it comes again, it's on with the jeans, the jacket and the shirt"[ryan adams]
"the sun is settin' like molasses in the sky..."[alannah myles]
"we're one, but we're not the same; we get to carry each other..."[U2]

"sometimes i can't believe it, i'm movin' past the feeling..."[arcade fire]

i still pop 19 pills a day.

i still have pain in my incision.

i still visit cedars more often than the wind blows.

but there's a feeling i'm moving past. that feeling of cramped limbs frantically thrusting out of a thick, muddied swamp of stagnant water. now i feel a cool rush propelling me forward. not a forceful, panicked swell; but rather, gentle caressing waves urging me onwards; watery embraces gently floating this woman towards the beautiful unknown...

and sorry, kmac, but it's all because of you...


  1. chassity McIntyreJune 9, 2011 at 9:38 AM

    LOVE that you are getting better
    Can't wait to see you!!