organ [market price]

yesterday, this was my day.

got up @ 11:30 am. did laundry. "putskied" around house. packed for trip to marin county.

fell asleep on bed, while kmac finished shoot. [hum of client conversation makes for great background noise.]

arose at 4:30 pm. drove to northridge. dropped off houndie, mags, with besties s and t.

got on 5 north and promptly fell asleep again.

awoke at 9 pm. still on 5 north. chit chatted with uberhubby, until irritation overwhelmed.

[are we there yet?]

arrived at sheraton, pleasanton, ca. 11 pm.

nibbled, giggled and shortly dozed...

asleep by 2 am...

the other night, my favorite show, "modern family", stooped into lowest common denominator territory, and took at cheap shot at organ donation. some crack regarding selling an "organ".

synthesizer in hand, his dad replied "i think they mean a different organ, son".

WHY IS THIS FUNNY?

it fairly breaks my heart. because the devastating truth is that i have already been contacted on my blog, by someone in india who would like to sell me his kidney.

no lie.

i need a kidney. and he needs income; sustenance. a life.

yet this desperate need continues to be fuel for sitcom fodder.

why not aids, cancer, m.s.? why are these travesties exempt from hollywood's clutch?..

[AAAAAHHHHHHHH........]

tonight i was witness to a pre marital celebration.

our beautiful friend, s, is getting married tomorrow.

and i am thrilled; present. reveling in her happiness.

but, the greater part of me wanted to lie down and sleep. sleep for days on end. sleep until the pain dissolves and the agony fades away...

5 days.

5 days until i know the truth. 5 days until i learn my fate. 5 days until i have some answers.

there is power in knowledge. but. there is sadness there, too. for the microscope held up to the truth is powerful, yet painful. for who really wants to see the truth?

[i do.]

and on friday the 19th, i'll get a big ol' dose...

["a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down"...]

give me some sugar, baby...