(UN) HEALTH BENEFITS

you know, i think i've been looking at this whole "chronically ill" thing all wrong.

there are actually, many benefits to my situation.

i need to re adjust my attitude; look at it from a "glass half-full" perspective...

FOR EXAMPLE:
-i save money on clothes, as i'm mostly clad in pajamas, or the like...

-i get out of going to the gym, due to lack of energy. (additional money saver!)

-aunt flow comes to town, maybe, every 3 months. no cramps, ladies! (thank you, prednisone)

-prednisone also gifts one moon face and a triple chin. smile lines vanquished! AND the fabulous bonus of appearing younger than one is...

["can i see your id.?"... "oh, really? shucks! me?"]

-you don't have to worry about budgeting, because all your money goes to medical bills.

-immunosuppression is actually light years ahead of its time...with a cold, flu, pink eye, bronchitis; you are laid up for weeks, instead of mere days. confined to bed, so much can be accomplished! catching up on movies, sleep, emails, uh, sleep...

-lying in bed for hours makes it very convenient and comfortable to be on hold with social security; billing departments etc...for hours on end.

-caffeine restrictions aid in avoiding the starbucks syndrome. (more pennies saved!)

-manifestations such as mouth sores, nail fungus, etc...garner pitious head tilts and mouth clucks...oh, and the occasional free meal.

-when admitted to hospital, it’s the famous CEDARS-SINAI in beverly hills! (as seen on beverly hills, 90210)

-when i go on dialysis, I will automatically receive a handicapped placard...bonus!

-there is a light at the end of the tunnel...although I think it’s the bill collector’s headlights coming up the driveway…

for further details on the benefits of kidney failure, please call 1-MYL-IFE-SUXS.